And then ice fell from the sky.
Monday, July 9th, 2007This is an except from an email to Emerson. “Just on my way out the door for an unplanned ride… gotta make the most of the… forget what it’s called.. big glowing yellow ball in the sky that only rarely makes an appearance.”… Further googling reveals that the glowing ball is actually called a “sun”. every solar system has one. Occasionally the clouds part and it shines briefly on Britain causing local meteorologists to pee themselves with excitement.
So begins the story entitled “How I got caught in a hail storm in July”.
As noted, the glowing yellow thing was shining and I was enjoying a nice ride through the blackdown hills. I rounded a corner and was suddenly, unexplainably under a mean looking black cloud. At that point the road went up sharply and as I was climbing it started raining big fat wet rain drops. Lots of big fat wet rain drops. Shortly after that I noticed that some of the big fat wet rain drops were bouncing and thought that’s odd, I was sure water didn’t bounce. That’s when the road I was riding up turned into a fast flowing river and the big fat wet rain drops turned into pellets of ice. For those who have yet to have the pleasure, I’m here to say riding a bike while being pelted with hail stones on your face, arms, and legs is quite painful.
Flashback: I’m 8 years old. It’s the 80’s. Times are good. Times are especially good for big chain pet stores who have not yet been condemned for selling puppy mill supplied puppies. Our grade 3 class is on a field trip to one of the largest suppliers of Labrador Retrievers, cutely named “The Lab Lab”. I’m enjoying the tour when suddenly I fall in a pit of puppies and am being bitten in thousands of different places at once by their little puppy teeth.
None of that actually happened but perhaps now you have an idea of what it’s like to ride through a hail storm.
You know the part in the ‘Truman Show’ where Jim Carey’s little world starts malfunctioning and he’s on the beach when it starts raining on a single meter radius right where he’s standing and when he takes a step to the side he steps out of the rain briefly until it catches up to him. That was what it was like when I finally reached the top of the hill. Above me: dark evil ice cloud from hell, and a torrent of ice and water. A half mile in any direction: Beautiful sunshine. I’m beginning to suspect there are cameras following me, perhaps filming a CBC documentary called “Why Canadians don’t emigrate: A case study”
It actually turned out to be a really nice ride. In fact, every ride around here, rain or not, is amazing. The scenery is beautiful, and the roads have barely any traffic and are perfect for cycling, especially if like me, you really like hills. Lots and lots of hills.
Things are good. I’m settling into the english country life nicely. If I could bring one thing over from Canada though, it would be Ontario Summers… And perhaps my Mum, and my friends, and some of my bikes, and hockey, and Toronto. That is the only thing I’d bring though.
